Due to his extended absence from this blog, we have been forced to send out a search party to find Mr. Surly. Although they failed to capture him, at least we have a confirmed sighting...
Can You Grok It? Free Grokistan!
Due to his extended absence from this blog, we have been forced to send out a search party to find Mr. Surly. Although they failed to capture him, at least we have a confirmed sighting...
The United States has been at war for 1,327 days.
In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,Kid Various is not at all a religous man, but he understands the words of the Battle Hymn of the Republic. Indeed,
With a glory in his bosom that transfigures you and me:
As he died to make men holy, let us die to make men free,
While God is marching on.
Kid Various has read the script, and is not impressed. If it remains in its current form, it makes makes several dramatic blunders that will contrast it negatively with the original. But still, seeing the poster gives The Kid a thrill.
At the polling place at the Karl Marx primary school in downtown Bobigny, a working-class suburb of Paris, by contrast, there was no sense that Europe's future hinged on the constitution.
With 18 percent unemployment and a large ethnic Arab and African population, 72 percent of the voters there said no.
The probelm being, that there is a Karl Marx primary school in France!!!
What the hell is up with that? What is that saying about French society? And you wonder why France has double digit unemployment and stagnant growth.
Regardless, The Kid is happy that the French have had the opportunity to make such decisions for themselves in a real election rather than just having the Euroelites tell them what's good for them. In the end that's healthier.
Of course, as Mark Steyn notes, whether or not the Euroelites will allow that to happen is an open question:
So, a couple of days before the first referendum, Jean-Claude Juncker, the "president" of the European Union, let French and Dutch voters know how much he values their opinion:
"If at the end of the ratification process, we do not manage to solve the problems, the countries that would have said No, would have to ask themselves the question again," "President" Juncker told the Belgian newspaper Le Soir.
Got that? You have the right to vote, but only if you give the answer your rulers want you to give. But don't worry, if you don't, we'll treat you like a particularly backward nursery school and keep asking the question until you get the answer right. Even America's bossiest nanny-state Democrats don't usually express their contempt for the will of the people quite so crudely.
Juncker is a man from Luxembourg, a country two-thirds the size of your rec room, and, under the agreeably clubby EU arrangements, he gets to serve as "president" without anything so tiresome as having to be voted into the job by "ordinary people." His remarks capture precisely the difference between the new Europe and the American republic.
Donald Trump is a loud mouthed, glory seeking blow-hard.
Trump's alternative would be replicas of the original 110-story towers, only a bit taller. The design and model by architect Ken Gardner, embraced by Trump, offered buildings that would be 1,474 feet -- more than a hundred feet taller than the original towers, once the world's tallest buildings.
"What we need is support to build a bigger and better version of two buildings and more that were taken down by people that were animals," Trump said. "If something happened to the Statue of Liberty, you wouldn't rebuild it as something other than the Statue of Liberty."
Kid Various was listening to Mike Malloy fete British MP and all around totalitarian boot-licking schmuck George Galloway the other day, after Galloway testified at a Senate hearing investigating the UN Oil-for-Food scandal. People should listen to Malloy. He's a funny clown.
SUCH SPECULATION TO ONE SIDE, the subcommittee and its staff had a tranche of information on Galloway, and on his record for truthfulness. It would have been a simple matter for them to call him out on a number of things. First of all, and easiest, he had dared to state under oath that he had not been a defender of the Saddam regime. This, from the man who visited Baghdad after the first Gulf war and, addressing Saddam, said: "Sir, I salute your courage, your strength, your indefatigability." How's that for lickspittling? And even if you make allowances for emotional public moments, you can't argue with Galloway's own autobiography, blush-makingly entitled I'm Not the Only One, which was published last spring and from which I offer the following extracts:
The state of Kuwait is "clearly a part of the greater Iraqi whole, stolen from the motherland by perfidious Albion." (Kuwait existed long before Iraq had even been named.) "In my experience none of the Ba'ath leaders have displayed any hostility to Jews." The post-Gulf war massacres of Kurds and Shia in 1991 were part of "a civil war that involved massive violence on both sides." Asked about Saddam's palaces after one of his many fraternal visits, he remarked, "Our own head of state has a fair bit of real estate herself." Her Majesty the Queen and her awful brood may take up a lot of room, but it's hardly comparable to one palace per province, built during a time of famine. Discussing Saddam's direct payments to the families of suicide-murderers--the very question he had refused to answer when I asked him--he once again lapsed into accidental accuracy, as with the Stalin comparison, and said that "as the martyred know, he put Iraq's money where his mouth was." That's true enough: It was indeed Iraq's money, if a bit more than Saddam's mouth.
Everyone should read this article by Fouad Ajami.
The weight of American power, historically on the side of the dominant order, now drives this new quest among the Arabs. For decades, the intellectual classes in the Arab world bemoaned the indifference of American power to the cause of their liberty. Now a conservative American president had come bearing the gift of Wilsonian redemption. For a quarter century the Pax Americana had sustained the autocracy of Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak: He had posed as America's man on the Nile, a bulwark against the Islamists. He was sly and cunning, running afoul of our purposes in Iraq and over Israeli-Palestinian matters. He had nurtured a culture of antimodernism and anti-Americanism, and had gotten away with it. Now the wind from Washington brought tidings: America had wearied of Mr. Mubarak, and was willing to bet on an open political process, with all its attendant risks and possibilities. The brave oppositional movement in Cairo that stepped forth under the banner of Kifaya ("Enough!") wanted the end of his reign: It had had enough of his mediocrity, enough of the despotism of an aging officer who had risen out of the military bureaucracy to entertain dynastic dreams of succession for his son. Egyptians challenging the quiescence of an old land may have had no kind words to say about America in the past. But they were sure that the play between them and the regime was unfolding under Mr. Bush's eyes.
Kid Various has said it before, when they start offering brain implants, he'll be first on line (to get online - forgive the pun.)
Earlier this month, I had the extreme pleasure of hosting a conversation between James Hughes, Ramez Naam and Joel Garreau, exploring the implications of human enhancement technologies. While none of the three could be termed a "bio-conservative," there are clear differences between their perspectives on how society can and should respond to new technologies (the lack of a bio-conservative in the discussion was intentional; I wanted the group to be able to explore the edges of implications, not get tied up in arguments over terminology or moral standing). The conversation ran over two-and-a-half hours; the resulting transcript is correspondingly lengthy. But I expect that you'll find the discussion compelling and fascinating, and well worth your time.Goddamn, The Kid wants to live in the Matrix.
Kid Various has been meaning to blog for a while about the impending votes on the E.U. constitution in France and the Netherlands. But he's been too busy. Besides, it's been said before and better by others. But we just wanted to let you all know that we're thinking about it, and more Americans should be thinking about it.
Yes, so, the only way to avoid the reinstitution of death camps in Europe is to approve a 511 page (small type) document that regulates and standardizes the gage of railway tracks in light rail systems. (We might note here that the EU constitution clocks in at 507 pages longer than the US constitution... still the most successful constitution on the planet. Reason for success? Survey says!.................................brevity.)
With the new constitution flailing in most polls, the Dutch government is being rather vicious already. Bernard Bot, the foreign minister, dismisses the electorate's objections as "a lot of irrational reaction". Piet-Hein Donner, the justice minister, warns that Europe will go the way of Helga's orchestra if the constitution is rejected. "Yugoslavia was more integrated than the Union is now," he points out, "but bad will and the inability to stifle hidden irritations and rivalry led in a short time to war."
Scornful of such piffling analogies, the prime minister, Jan-Peter Balkenende, thinks a Balkan end is the least of their worries. "I've been in Auschwitz and Yad Vashem," he says. "The images haunt me every day. It is supremely important for us to avoid such things in Europe."
What is it in Kid Various' heart that calls him to collect his mighty Skeleton Legion?
There are researchers who believe that some of this disturbing cacophony -- specifically a subset found only in children -- is caused by something familiar and common. They call it Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated With Streptococcal Infection, or, because every disease needs an acronym, Pandas. And they are certain it is brought on by strep throat -- or more specifically, by the antibodies created to fight strep throat.
If they are right, it is a compelling breakthrough, a map of the link between bacteria and at least one subcategory of mental illness. And if bacteria can cause O.C.D., then an antibiotic might mitigate or prevent it -- a Promised Land of a concept to parents who have watched their children change overnight from exuberant, confident and familiar to doubt-ridden, fear-laden strangers.
Shouldn't that be PANDASI?
Kid Various fisked an ugly essay a few days ago by a guy who has no idea just how fortunate he is to have the privilege of being born an American.
And then, on the way to my stunning girlfriend’s apartment to bitch about how unfair life was treating me, I saw a fairly common sight in Los Angeles. I saw a group of young Mexican men gathered on a street corner, waiting for any kind of work.
And there, through some act of grace that occasionally opens my eyes and reveals to me a better person in my reflection, I suddenly realized that these men are waiting – fighting -- to work long, backbreaking hours for next to no pay. They sleep in small, cheap apartments, hot-bunking it, working sometimes two or even three jobs and keeping nothing for themselves. They never eat out, never go to movies, and planning for a future is not an easy thing when every penny you make above what you absolutely need goes back home to Mexico to feed your family.
And I stopped at that light, and looked at these men. And I realized right there that I, this wide-eyed idealist that writes about America, am in point of fact exactly what is wrong with America today.
I make a fortune. I make a fortune doing creative work with gentle and funny and artistic people. On a normal week, I work from ten until six, three or four days a week, and all I do is sit behind a computer in a dark, air conditioned room and make decisions: who says what and who is looking where. And that’s it. For this I get paid in two to three weeks what these men will have to work an entire year of backbreaking, hopeless labor to achieve.
And there I am: bitching and complaining and wondering why things are not better for me. Boo-freaking-hoo.
This is the poison that will eventually kill us all. I should spend an hour a day prostrate and thanking God I was born an American. How many struggle and die for this privilege?
Kid Various wishes he could write one tenth as well as Whittle...
Top Ten Excuses Women Give Not To Sleep With Kid Various:
10) Just don't like him in that way.and the number one reason given women give not to sleep with Kid Various (drumroll please):
9) Currently stalking someone else.
8) Can outrun him.
7) Would rather bang some hunky muscular guy, then call up Kid Various to have a sensitive conversation with him afterwards.
6) Just can't get bombed enough on girly drinks like amaretto sours to give his a throw.
5) Have Romulan fetish, Klingons are a huge turnoff.
4) He's got skeleton legions.
3) His skeleton legions have too many liches.
2) The basement door lock is busted, his Mom keeps coming in to do the laundry.
1) Only 2.5 billion other fish in the sea.
It's important when you are a criminal defendant on trial to make a good impression on the judge and jury:
Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, you must now decide whether to reverse the decision for my client Chef. I know he seems guilty, but ladies and gentlemen... This is Chewbacca. Now think about that for one moment—that does not make sense. Why am I talking about Chewbacca when a man's life is on the line? Why? I'll tell you why: I don't know.
It does not make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense, you must acquit! Here, look at the monkey. Look at the silly monkey!
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith grossed 50 million dollars in its first day.
And speaking of teachers sleeping with 12 year olds, Mary Kay LeTourneau married her lover and former student Vili Fualaau yesterday in Seattle. 200 people attended the ceremony. Who the hell were those 200 people? What kind of gift do you buy for this wedding?
Fualaau appears at the 23rd annual Thug Life awards
In a discovery that is sure to set advertisers flocking to our site, we have just discovered that we are the number one google hit for the search phrase:
Teachers having sex with 12 year olds
For any of you out there who may be worried that George Lucas might have to go to the poor house because copies of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith have been turning up on the file sharing networks, we at The Idiom beseech thee! Worry Not!
The family pet can now be one of your favorite Star Wars characters! Dress up your pet as the Sith Lord Darth Vader. Includes headpiece and jumpsuit with attached arms, cape, and belt.
This gives totally new meaning to the phrase, "He hears his master's voice..."
"I was just trying to put the Darth Vader costume on fluffy and he just went beserk!"
"Did he bite you?"
"No, he crushed my trachea with his mind..."
The other day, Kid Various was flipping through his newspaper and found that photo of Don Rumsfeld with Spiderman and Captain America. Instantly, the funnymeter went off and, as a dozen different captions to the photograph surged through his mind, Kid Various thought, "This must be blogged..."
05/01/05 "ICH" - - The greatest moral quandary of our day is whether we, as Americans, support the Iraqi insurgency.
It's an issue that has caused anti-war Leftist's the same pangs of conscience that many felt 30 years ago in their opposition to the Vietnam War. The specter of disloyalty weighs heavily on all of us, even those who've never been inclined to wave flags or champion the notion of American "Exceptionalism".
For myself, I can say without hesitation, that I support the insurgency, and would do so even if my only 21 year old son was serving in Iraq. There's simply no other morally acceptable option.
As Americans we support the idea that violence is an acceptable means of achieving (national) self-determination. This, in fact, is how are [sic] nation was formed and it is vindicated in our founding document, The Declaration of Independence":
"That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends IT IS THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE TO ALTER OR ABOLISH IT, and to institute a new government, having its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness.. but when a long train of abuses and usurpations pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, IT IS THEIR RIGHT, IT IS THEIR DUTY, TO THROW OFF SUCH GOVERNMENT, AND PROVIDE NEW GUARDS FOR THEIR FUTURE SECURITY.
The Declaration of Independence" is revolutionary in its view that we have a "duty" to overthrow regimes that threaten basic human liberties.
We must apply this same standard to the Iraqi people. Violence is not the issue, but the justification for the use of violence. The overwhelming majority of the world's people know that the war in Iraq was an "illegal" (Kofi Annan) act of unprovoked aggression against a defenseless enemy.
It's a common tactic to try to get people to use a certain term for something as a way of framing the conversation. One has a different attitude about "wetlands" than one does about "mosquito-infested swamps". Draining a swamp sounds like a good idea, but everyone knows we're supposed to preserve wetlands.
Those who are trying to frame this as a discussion of "international law" are doing so because they're trying to imply certain things about international relations by extrapolation from our experience with national law. Within our nation we agree to be bound by the law, even if it tells us we cannot do certain things we desire to do, and when we have disagreements with each other, we take them to court and plead them in front of a disinterested jury which makes a decision, after which both sides are bound by that decision.
By extrapolation, the rhetoric about "international law" is being used to imply that the US may not unilaterally attack Iraq unless it gains permission through some formal process of "international law", that to do so it must prove that Iraq was directly involved in either the September attack or in other direct attacks against us, using convincing evidence publicly presented, before the UN. Based on that presentation, the UN (probably the Security Council) will then serve the function of jury and decide if the US has made an adequate case, after which it will decide whether the US would be given the right to attack.
The idea of jury trial in our normal affairs is intended as a way of restraining people from creating their own justice, and by the same token the users of this rhetoric see the process of approval by the UN as a way of restraining rogue nations (of which there is only one, needless to say, and I'm living in it). If we are sufficiently convinced of our reasons for attacking Iraq, we should have no compunction of proving it before what amounts to an international jury of our peers.
A recent poll conducted in the Middle East (released by the Center for Strategic Studies) shows that "for more than 85% of the population in four of the five countries polled (Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, Syria and Palestine) thought the US war on Iraq was an act of terrorism". Lebanon polled at 64%. (Pepe Escobar; "Its Terror when we say so") Terrorism or not, there's no doubt that the vast majority of people in the region and in the world, believe that the war was entirely unjustifiable.
The argument most commonly offered by antiwar Americans (who believe we should stay in Iraq) doesn't defend the legitimacy of the invasion, but provides the rationale for the ongoing occupation. The belief that "We can't just leave them without security", creates the logic for staying in Iraq until order can be established. Unfortunately, the occupation is just another manifestation of the war itself; replete with daily bombings, arrests, torture and the destruction of personal property. Therefore, support of the occupation is a vindication of the war. The two are inseparable.
We should remember that the war (which was entirely based on false or misleading information)
was both illegal
That judgment does not change by maintaining a military presence of 140,000 soldiers on the ground for years to come. Each passing day of occupation simply perpetuates the crime.
At the same time we have to recognize that the disparate elements of Iraqi resistance, belittled in the media as the "insurgency", are the legitimate expression of Iraqi self-determination.
Independence is not bestowed by a foreign nation; the very nature of that relationship suggests reliance on outside forces.
True independence and sovereignty can only be realized when foreign armies are evacuated and indigenous elements assume the reigns of power. (Bush acknowledged this himself when he ordered Syrian troops to leave Lebanon) The character of the future Iraqi government will evolve from the groups who successfully expel the US forces from their country, not the American-approved stooges who rose to power through Washington's "demonstration elections".
This may not suit the members of the Bush administration, but it's a first step in the long process of reintegrating and rebuilding the Iraqi state.
There's no indication that the conduct of the occupation will change anytime soon. If anything, conditions have only worsened over the passed two years. The Bush administration hasn't shown any willingness to loosen its grip on power either by internationalizing the occupation or by handing over real control to the newly elected Iraqi government.
This suggests that the only hope for an acceptable solution to the suffering of the Iraqi people is a US defeat and the subsequent withdrawal of troops. Regrettably, we're no where near that period yet.
Who's killing who?
It's not the insurgency that's killing American soldiers. It's the self-serving strategy to control 12% of the world's remaining petroleum and to project American military power throughout the region.
This is the plan that has put American servicemen into harms way. The insurgency is simply acting as any resistance movement would; trying to rid their country of foreign invaders when all the political channels have been foreclosed.
American's would behave no differently if put in a similar situation and Iraqi troops were deployed in our towns and cities.
Ultimately, the Bush administration bears the responsibility for the death of every American killed in Iraq just as if they had lined them up against a wall and shot them one by one. Their blood is on the administration's hands not those of the Iraqi insurgency.
Expect another dictator or Mullah
We shouldn't expect that, after a long period of internal struggle, the Iraqi leadership will embrace the values of democratic government. More likely, another Iraqi strongman, like Saddam, will take power. In fact, the rise of another dictator (or Ayatollah) is nearly certain given the catastrophic effects of the American-led war.
Regardless, it is not the right of the US to pick-and-choose the leaders of foreign countries or to meddle in their internal politics. (The UN, as imperfect as it may be, is the proper venue for deciding how to affect the behavior of foreign dictators)
At this point, we should be able to agree that the people of Iraq were better off under Saddam Hussein in every quantifiable way than they are today. Even on a physical level, the availability of work, clean water, electricity, sewage control, medicine, gas and food were far superior to the present situation. On a deeper level, the insecurity from the sporadic violence, the increasing brutality, and the gross injustice of the occupation has turned Iraq into a prison-state, where the amenities of normal life are nowhere to be found.
Support for the Bush policy is, by necessity, support for the instruments of coercion that are used to perpetuate that occupation. In other words, one must be willing to support the torture at Abu Ghraib, (which continues to this day according to Amnesty International)
the neoliberal policies (which have privatized all of Iraq's publicly owned industries, banks and resources) an American-friendly regime that excludes 20% (Sunnis) of the population and, worst of all, "the return-in full force-of Saddam's Mukhabarat agents, now posing as agents of the new Iraqi security and intelligence services." (Pepe Escobar, Asia Times)
Are American's prepared to offer their support to the same brutal apparatus of state-terror that was employed by Saddam? (Rumsfeld's unannounced visit to Baghdad last week was to make sure that the newly elected officials didn't tamper with his counterinsurgency operatives, most of who were formerly employed in Saddam's secret police)
We should also ask ourselves what the long-range implications of an American victory in Iraq would be. Those who argue that we cannot leave Iraq in a state of chaos don't realize that stabilizing the situation on the ground is tantamount to an American victory and a vindication for the policies of aggression. This would be a bigger disaster than the invasion itself.
The Bush administration is fully prepared to carry on its campaign of global domination by force unless an unmovable object like the Iraqi insurgency blocks its way. Many suspect, that if it wasn't for the resistance the US would be in Tehran and Damascus right now.
This, I think, is a rational assumption. For this reason alone, antiwar advocates should carefully consider the implications of "so-called" humanitarian objectives designed to pacify the population. "Normalizing" aggression by ameliorating its symptoms is the greatest dilemma we collectively face.
We should be clear about our feelings about the war and the occupation. The disparate Iraqi resistance is the legitimate manifestation of a national liberation movement. Its success is imperative to the principles of national sovereignty and self-determination; ideals that are revered in the Declaration of Independence. The toppling of foreign regimes and the destruction of entire civilizations cannot be justified in terms of "democracy" or any other cynically conjured-up ideal. The peace and security of the world's people depends on the compliance of states with the clearly articulated standards of international law and the UN Charter. Both were deliberately violated by the invasion of Iraq. Crushing the insurgency will not absolve that illicit action; it will only increase the magnitude of the crime. Therefore we look for an American defeat in Iraq. Such a defeat would serve as a powerful deterrent to future unprovoked conflicts and would deliver a serious blow to the belief that aggression is a viable expression of foreign policy.
Looks like Kid Various was beaten to the punch on another bid to make easy money. Although I doubt he could command the same rates as The College of New Jersey student, Courtenay Van Dunk, who is auctioning off space on her body for advertising this summer.
AP, WAYNE, N.J. - A 21-year-old college business major living in this northern New Jersey community has proven a basic lesson of marketing: Sex sells. Courtney Van Dunk posted a bikini-clad picture of herself on eBay about two weeks ago, auctioning off space on her body for advertisers.
The auction ended Thursday with a winning bid from a New Jersey wine retailer offering $11,300 for a month's worth of advertising. Van Dunk, though, says the offer has been retracted, but she's confident that she's made contacts with enough companies to still earn some cash
When she finds a buyer, Van Dunk plans to place temporary tattoos on her abdomen while she's at the beach, or on other body parts when she's at the mall, sporting events, amusement parks and other public places. Her butt and chest are off limits.
Your Ad Here via Yahoo/AP
Annakin: You're either with me, or you're my enemy.
Obi-Wan: Only a Sith thinks in absolutes.
Today while walking on Bleeker Street I had may latest celebrity sighting: the great Judah Friedlander.
Overheard, an example of the aging Generation X's watercooler talk, circa May 13, 2005:
Kid Various: I really can't believe Pac Man is 25 years old how fucked up is that? And The Empire Strikes Back also came out 25 years ago...
Mr. Scriblerus: Yes, we were like 12, 25 years ago.
Kid Various: Ugh.
Mr. Scriblerus: Double ugh. And of course now here we are almost 40 and still talking about freaking star wars, 25 years later.
Kid Various: Amazing isn't it?
Mr. Scriblerus: So really, other than being older and worn out, has anything changed? Star wars is an inter-generational thing now. Have you ever seen the MTV True Life episode on embarrassing parents with the father and son Star Wars fans.
Kid Various: Uh...no.
Mr. Scriblerus: It's so funny. This umemployed father dresses up like a Jedi, takes his redneck son to a Star Wars convention and then the kid gets into it, but embraces the dark side as a stormtrooper. Classic TV.
Kid Various: I can tell. Who aspires to be a storm trooper? Man, at least go for IG-88.
Mr. Scriblerus: Yeah, how lame is that, you’re an anonymous clone.
Kid Various: Man I'm ashamed I knew that.
Mr. Scriblerus: You should be, and the fact that you have a preference is chilling, I mean like everyone knows R2D2 but - IG88?
Kid Various: Well...IG-88 *is* an enigma
Mr. Scriblerus: Ummm. OK.
Kid Various: I mean, what's his motivation?
Mr. Scriblerus: It's George Lucas, don't you know robots have feelings.
Kid Various: What moves a robot to become a bounty hunter?
Mr. Scriblurus: Chicks.
Good lord this is brilliant.
In my meditations I have found myself drawn toward a remote sector, one not yet scheduled for probe deployment. Something speaks to me out of the velvet between the stars, and I cannot ignore it. "Redesign for the Themoth Sector," I commanded. "Make ready the jump to hyperspace."
"But Lord Vader," whinnied Admiral Ozzel, "the armada is already moving along a prescribed route..."
I withered him with a stare, my hands on my belt.
He ordered the helm to replot our course, and notified the fleet commanders. Then he turned and asked as contritely as he could manage, "May I at least know what leads you to suspect Themoth will yield results, my Lord?"
"You may ask," I told him, turning away to the glass. "As an ant may ask the sun why it shines. It is beyond you, Admiral. See to your duty."
Ozzel hesitated. "Sir," he said crisply and turned on heel.
Do you want to know what the worst part is? My left leg is still on the fritz. Whose trachea do you have to crush with your mind to get a little service around here?
Holy crap! Pac Man is 25 years old!
President Bush visited the former Soviet Republic of Georgia the other day to celebrate the end of World War II in Europe. Over 100,000 Georgians came out to cheer the President and thank him for his efforts at promoting democracy world-wide.
A Dutch judge has ruled that US President George W. Bush can visit the Netherlands as planned this weekend and should not be arrested.
The activists demanded that Bush be arrested or a court order issued to block his entry to the Netherlands due to "numerous, flagrant breaches of the Geneva Convention".
Idiots. The fact that the White House legal counsel had to even think about this for one millisecond is an outrage.
Didi Modloba Sakartvelo!
The artworld has been jolted by two major announcements today.
The 32 small paintings had been in a Wainscott storage locker for more than a quarter-century and were dark with grime when they were discovered.But a few things quickly became apparent after the find two years ago. They were among the early drip paintings by the abstract expressionist Jackson Pollock. They were worth as much as $10 million altogether.And they provide crucial evidenceSecond, and perhaps more importantly, artwork by the renowned Congo the Chimp goes on the auction block in London on June 20:
showing Pollock was far more careful and disciplined than is commonly thought, said Alex Matter, 62, a Manhattan filmmaker who Tuesday publicly disclosed the existence of the paintings, which had belonged to his father.
London Auction House to Sell Chimp Artwork
MIKE MCDONOUGH, Associated Press Writer, May 11, 2005
LONDON -- Congo the chimpanzee led a brief artistic career and enjoyed little critical success, despite the patronage of his contemporary and fellow abstract painter, Pablo Picasso. But nearly half a century after Congo's artistic career, some of his paintings are going on sale at a prestigious London auction house alongside works by Andy Warhol and Renoir. Three tempera on paper works -- brightly colored compositions of bold brushstrokes -- will be featured as a single lot in the sale of Modern and Contemporary Art at Bonhams on June 20, the auctioneer said Wednesday. The lot estimate is between $1,130-$1,500.
via NY Newsday
One of these paintings is by Jackson Pollack, one of these is by a monkey, can you tell the difference? Remember Picasso had a Congo in his collection.
Pollack or chimp? It's hard to tell. In other animal art news, it appears that Koko the Talking Gorilla was also a prolific artist. Although, being that Koko is alive her works are undoubtedly of lesser value than Congo's.
Down in the D.C. area there is a restaurant chain called "Legal Seafood."
[Kid Various] Hey, Surly... How's that new seafood place?
[Mr. Surly] Eh, it's legal...
CRUZ BAY, U.S. Virgin Islands - Actress Renee Zellweger, who played the lovelorn title character in "Bridget Jones's Diary," was married Monday to country music star Kenny Chesney in a small ceremony on the Caribbean island of St. John in the U.S. Virgin Islands.No, no no! She just broke up with Jack White! Kid Various was just about to make his move!
The Red Lake school shootings happened a few weeks ago, but Saturday night Kid Various watched Elephant, Gus Van Sandt's excruciatingly slow tone poem about a fictional Oregon high school on the morning of a similiar, Columbine like rampage.
His favorite recording artists included Korn, Marilyn Manson, Rammstein, and John Lennon.Uh-oh. Burn all those copies of "Imagine."
The web page with links to Weise's two Flash animations includes his photo and an e-mail address (firstname.lastname@example.org) that the teen used when posting 34 comments on the web site nazi.org, where Weise used the handles "nativenazi" and "todesengel," which translates to "angel of death" in German.Interestingly enough, as an American Indian, Kid Various not sure that Jeffy would have would have fit well into the Fuhrer's master plan.
Oh man, Kyle Rayner's gonna be pissed!!!
Well, Disney has gone and bought the muppets franchise outright. Kid Various does not think that the muppets brand of anarchist humour will go down well in the House of Mouse.
The Muppets are essentially joyous and irreverent — their currency is pigs loving frogs, caterpillars smoking hookahs, Dr Teeth and His Electric Mayhem having “bummers”, and a disgruntled Statler and Waldorf trying to assassinate the whole cast. It’s hippies parodying reactionaries, bread-heads, divas and bores. It’s hard to see how they will fit, intact, into Disney’s cleaner-than-clean, carefuller-than-careful corporate world.
Indeed, as if to illustrate this point, when I contacted Disney its vice-president of corporate communications for Europe replied: “Disney has deemed irreverence as one of the five core equities of the Muppets (humorous, heartwarming, puppet-inspired and topical being the other four).”
On one wall is a "Star Trek" poster with investigators' faces substituted for the Starship Enterprise crew. But even that alludes to a dark fact of their work: All but one of the offenders they have arrested in the last four years was a hard-core Trekkie.Kid Various swears he's never used the "Hey baby, my phaser it set for love..." line on anyone under age!
Det. Constable Warren Bulmer slips on a Klingon sash and shield they confiscated in a recent raid. "It has something to do with a fantasy world where mutants and monsters have power and where the usual rules don't apply," Bulmer reflects. "But beyond that, I can't really explain it."
We here at the Idiom strive to bring you the latest in penguin news and information and this week is no exception. Apparently there is an outbreak of the sexually transmitted disease chlamydia that is killing the penguins at the San Francisco Zoo. Zoo officials maintain that the illness that befell the zoo's "Penguin Island" was not sexually transmitted. Yeah right.
The zoo's penguins in December 2003 began swimming nonstop in circles after six
new penguins were introduced to the colony. Normally the birds occasionally
splash about in their pool. They went around and around until mid-February
2004. Even when the pool was drained they would walk around in circles."