Economy Given Big Boost By Ramadan Shopping Season
Have you seen the 300th anniversary issue of The Onion?
Can You Grok It? Free Grokistan!
Have you seen the 300th anniversary issue of The Onion?
Political correctness continues unabated across the globe, but it's apparently running out of good targets.
'Brainstorming', the buzz term used by executives to generate ideas among their
staff, has been deemed politically incorrect by civil servants because it is
thought to be offensive to people with brain disorders. Instead
staff at the Department of Enterprise, Trade and Investment (DETI) in Belfast
will use the term 'thought-showers' when they get together to think creatively.
A spokeswoman said: 'The DETI does not use the term brainstorming on its
training courses on the grounds that it may be deemed pejorative.'
No way! Scientists have created zombie dogs!
SCIENTISTS have created eerie zombie dogs, reanimating the canines after several hours of clinical death in attempts to develop suspended animation for humans...
The animals are considered scientifically dead, as they stop breathing and have no heartbeat or brain activity.
But three hours later, their blood is replaced and the zombie dogs are brought back to life with an electric shock.
Of course, Kid Various has had zombie dogs for quite some time...
Has anyone ever noticed that if you have a million dollars you're a millionaire in the U.S. but not by British standards since you only have 552,049 pounds?
Kid Various would like to remind some people that there is a freakin' war on!
Three of the four broadcast networks had yet to decide late Monday whether they would carry President Bush's speech on Iraq Tuesday in front of soldiers in Fort Bragg, N.C. By then, only ABC had said it would carry the address...Average Joe? How f'ing sad are we?
CBS, NBC and Fox all said they would decide sometime Tuesday whether to carry the speech. Concerns centered on the potential newsworthiness of the speech and the fact that it was being given not in the Oval Office but far from Washington...
But that might not be the only reason for the networks' holdout. While CBS was in repeats at 8 p.m., NBC was faced with the possibility of having to pre-empt or reschedule the heavily promoted original reality series "Average Joe: The Joes Strike Back."
Penguins. We love ‘em. They’re like birds, but wearing tuxedos. How can you not love that?
Wendell and Cass, two penguins at the New York Aquarium in Coney Island, Brooklyn, live in a soap opera world of seduction and intrigue. Among the 22 male and 10 female African black-footed penguins in the aquarium's exhibit, tales of love, lust and betrayal are the norm. These birds mate for life. But given the disproportionate male-female ratio at the aquarium, some of the females flirt profusely and dump their partners for single males with better nests.
Wendell and Cass, however, take no part in these cunning schemes. They have been completely devoted to each other for the last eight years. In fact, neither one of them has ever been with anyone else, says their keeper, Stephanie Mitchell.
But the partnership of Wendell and Cass adds drama in another way. They're both male. That is to say, they're gay penguins.
The keepers at the NY Aquarium better start checking for “meth beak” pretty soon.
Wendell & Cass. Gay penguins. Cass is the butch one.
But here’s the thing that’s gonna get Focus on the Family all riled up.
At the Central Park Zoo, Silo and
, two male Chinstrap penguins, have been in an exclusive relationship for four years. Last mating season, they even fostered an egg together. Roy
"They got all excited when we gave them the egg," said Rob Gramzay, senior keeper for polar birds at the zoo. He took the egg from a young, inexperienced couple that hatched an extra and gave it to Silo and
. "And they did a really great job of taking care of the chick and feeding it." Roy
Good lord! First the ten commandments can’t be displayed in a
So this is why September 11th happened. God lifted his “veil of protection” because there are gay penguins out there raising vulnerable penguin chicks who will be indoctrinated into the sodomite penguin lifestyle! How much longer can
Speaking of Deep Throat, did anyone catch that interview with L. Patrick Gray, the FBI Director who got the job Mark Felt thought he should have? Take a look at the post at Captain's Quarters.
This sound familiar to anyone?
Felt described Gray as a political hack to Woodward and Bernstein in their series of clandestine meetings, but during the day worked on apple-polishing to put Gray at ease. The ruse worked so well that Gray refused to fire Felt even after the White House requested his termination on several occasions. Gray didn't even consider giving Felt a polygraph to determine if the leaks came from him, because he felt it would be too degrading for such an upstanding agent to have to endure such a test of loyalty.At the heart of Gray's disillusionment was his belief in Mark Felt as the ultimate FBI agent -- daring, competent, erudite, and most of all loyal.
Oh man! Mark Felt wasn't Deep Throat, he was Iago!
To be produced--as, if I stay, I shall--
Against the Moor: for, I do know, the state,
However this may gall him with some cheque,
Cannot with safety cast him, for he's embark'd
With such loud reason to the Cyprus wars,
Which even now stand in act, that, for their souls,
Another of his fathom they have none,
To lead their business: in which regard,
Though I do hate him as I do hell-pains.
Yet, for necessity of present life,
I must show out a flag and sign of love,
Which is indeed but sign.
Although we're all probably Deep Throated-out, Bob Woodward has an interesting article entitled "How Mark Felt Became Deep Throat."
STATELY, PLUMP BUCK MULLIGAN CAME FROM THE STAIRHEAD, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressing gown, ungirdled, was sustained gently-behind him by the mild morning air. He held the bowl aloft and intoned:
-- Introibo ad altare Dei.
... I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.
Until Bloomsday next...
History, said Stephen, is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake.
Kid Various has discovered the new meme du jour…. “meth mouth.”
Yes, apparently smoking crystal meth is really, really bad for your teeth. Follow the link above at your peril. It’s pretty frightening.
Apparently lithium, muriatic and sulfuric acids, ether, red phosphorus and lye are “key ingredients” of crystal meth (and here Kid Various was silly enough to think it was Vitamin A) and work to dissolve tooth enamel with great alacrity.
Of course, the Government also says that marijuana will make you a homicidal killer.
And you don’t even have to smoke the crank to get meth mouth. Snorting crystal meth seems to be just as bad because it draws the corrosive substances down the nasal passages, where it drains into the throat and immerses the teeth in the poisonous “key ingredients” (where did they get that information, the nutritional data on the side of the box?)
What do we learn from this? If you’re going to do crystal meth, inject it for God’s sake!
Funny because Kid Various every so often gets “tooth decay dreams” where his teeth will just start falling out. *shiver* The good thing is that The Kid realizes that this will never happen, because he doesn’t smoke crystal meth, because, despite all rumour to the contrary, he is not gay.
How the ‘F’ did crystal meth become an identifiable facet of the gay culture along with Judy Garland and hair product?
Kid Various has been to his share of gay pride parades (only looking) and has never seen a float drive by with a gaggle of men smoking the rock. A gaggle of built men in rainbow thongs suggestively stroking 6 foot phalluses to the beat of the Weather Girls’ “It’s Raining Men,” yes. But smoking rock…never.
Although that guy walking down
Maybe that dream represents a latent fear that Kid Various is gay!
This past weekend, Mr. Scriblerus' Mom cleaned out her attic and unearthed a box with 8 of these glasses in mint condition, not even a chip or a crack, plus a bonus glass from the Empire Strikes Back. OK, it's not exactly a copy of Action Comics #1 or even a Mickey Mantle rookie card, but does anybody know... am I like rich or what? The Force is totally with me on this one, right?
Hey anyone know how to work Ebay?
This is what happens when you repress being gay for too long.
In researching the last post, Kid Various went to the wikipedia entry for Hal Holbrook.
His family desperate to cash in before he shuffles of the mortal coil, yesterday former number 2 at the FBI W. Mark Felt revealed himself to be the mysterious "Deep Throat," the secret source to the Washington Post during the Watergate scandal.