We’re Here. We’re Queer. Give Us A Fish

Penguins. We love ‘em. They’re like birds, but wearing tuxedos. How can you not love that?

Wendell and Cass, two penguins at the New York Aquarium in Coney Island, Brooklyn, live in a soap opera world of seduction and intrigue. Among the 22 male and 10 female African black-footed penguins in the aquarium's exhibit, tales of love, lust and betrayal are the norm. These birds mate for life. But given the disproportionate male-female ratio at the aquarium, some of the females flirt profusely and dump their partners for single males with better nests.

Yeah, Kid Various knows all about that!

Wendell and Cass, however, take no part in these cunning schemes. They have been completely devoted to each other for the last eight years. In fact, neither one of them has ever been with anyone else, says their keeper, Stephanie Mitchell.

But the partnership of Wendell and Cass adds drama in another way. They're both male. That is to say, they're gay penguins.

The keepers at the NY Aquarium better start checking for “meth beak” pretty soon.

Wendell & Cass. Gay penguins. Cass is the butch one.

But here’s the thing that’s gonna get Focus on the Family all riled up.

At the Central Park Zoo, Silo and Roy, two male Chinstrap penguins, have been in an exclusive relationship for four years. Last mating season, they even fostered an egg together.

"They got all excited when we gave them the egg," said Rob Gramzay, senior keeper for polar birds at the zoo. He took the egg from a young, inexperienced couple that hatched an extra and gave it to Silo and Roy. "And they did a really great job of taking care of the chick and feeding it."

Good lord! First the ten commandments can’t be displayed in a Kentucky courtroom and now New York State is allowing gay penguins to adopt???

So this is why September 11^th happened. God lifted his “veil of protection” because there are gay penguins out there raising vulnerable penguin chicks who will be indoctrinated into the sodomite penguin lifestyle! How much longer can America hold out? How long until the beaches of Fire Island are packed with flightless, aquatic birds sunning themselves and participating in all sorts of hedonistic deviltry?