The Idiom

Can You Grok It? Free Grokistan!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Your Face Hurt?

No? Well it's killing me!
Kid Various loves that joke. And now he has new reasons to tell it due to the (very old) news about the world's first successful "face transplant." Kid Various has been thinking of getting one these himself. The operation was performed in a hospital in Lyon, France where, apparently, french surgeons were the only people in the world aside from certain asian action film directors to think that this sort of procedure was necessary.

Apparently the woman who received the transplant loves her new face.

The French woman who received the world's first partial face transplant is in excellent health and delighted with the result of the groundbreaking operation, said her surgeon on Sunday.
She also mentioned that she was looking forward to infiltrating Castor Troy's criminal organization.

Sadly, the patient was not informed as to the identity of the transplant donor, who turned out to be McHale's Navy star, Ernest Borgnine.

A Message From the NJ GOP

Jon Corzine was inaugurated Governor today.

We're 0 for 6 statewide since 2000.* Plus losing the Senate majority in 2003.

We got no money. We got no prospects.

We admit it. We SUCK.

We will attempt to do better.

In these dark days, Wally Edge has a little levity.

Former U.S. Senator Robert Torricelli made a rare non-court related public appearance today, attending the inaguration of Governor Jon Corzine.

* 2000 Bush v. Gore President LOSS
2000 Franks v. Corzine US Senate LOSS
2001 Schundler v. McGreevy Governor LOSS
2002 Forrester v. Lautenberg US Senate LOSS
2004 Bush v. Kerry President LOSS
2005 Forrester v. Corzine Governor LOSS

Message From the Management

OK. We realize that our last post was 6 days ago. And it was an insubstantial one off too.

We admit it. We Suck.

We will attempt to do better.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

We're Living In The Future!

Kid Various is still pissed about his flying car and personal robot (not to mention the Tomorrowland digs.)

But you have to admit that we're living in the future when the following headline:

Blackberry To Support Google Messaging

Appears in the AP "Top Stories" category instead of the "Technology" section.

Would that headline have been intelligible even five years ago?

Sunday, January 08, 2006

80's Music Revisited

Very clever...

Nein, all ist nicht klar. Und ruft mich nicht 'der Kommissar,' arschloch -- Ich bin Jeff, lord des tanzes.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Where's My Fucking Robot?

Not only was Kid Various under the impression that he would by now have a flying car and a personal robot (roomba's don't count - get the fuck outta here!), but he was also told that he'd be living in a supercool, Tomorrowland pad like this: hat tip Boing Boing

Man, they SO lied to us!


Y'all probably saw this story, which is so egregious it actually made the western press and may actually have to be, *gasp*, prosecuted.

Nazir Ahmed appears calm and unrepentant as he recounts how he slit the throats of his three young daughters and their 25-year old stepsister to salvage his family's "honor" — a crime that shocked Pakistan.

...Ahmed's killing spree — witnessed by his wife Rehmat Bibi as she cradled their 3 month-old baby son — happened Friday night at their home in the cotton-growing village of Gago Mandi in eastern Punjab province.

Bibi recounted how she was woken by a shriek as Ahmed put his hand to the mouth of his stepdaughter Muqadas and cut her throat with a machete. Bibi looked helplessly on from the corner of the room as he then killed the three girls — Bano, 8, Sumaira, 7, and Humaira, 4 — pausing between the slayings to brandish the bloodstained knife at his wife, warning her not to intervene or raise alarm.

...He said he bought a butcher's knife and a machete after midday prayers on Friday and hid them in the house where he carried out the killings.

"I thought the younger girls would do what their eldest sister had done, so they should be eliminated," he said, his hands cuffed, his face unshaven. "We are poor people and we have nothing else to protect but our honor."

Despite Ahmed's contention that Muqadas had committed adultery — a claim made by her husband — the rights commission reported that according to local people, Muqadas had fled her husband because he had abused her and forced her to work in a brick-making factory.

Police have said they do not know the identity or whereabouts of Muqadas' alleged lover.

Muqadas was Bibi's daughter by her first marriage to Ahmed's brother, who died 14 years ago. Ahmed married his brother's widow, as is customary under Islamic tradition.

Red flag number one... Danger Will Robinson! Danger!

"I told the police that I am an honorable father and I slaughtered my dishonored daughter and the three other girls," he said. "I wish that I get a chance to eliminate the boy she ran away with and set his home on fire."
Truly, an honorable man...

Your foreign western ways are conflicting with my savage tribal
understanding of normal human relations.
I am not listening to you! LALALALALALALALALALA!


Boomers to Overload Health System

We could try the eskimo solution, but Kid Various thinks we have no longer have big enough ice flows due to global warming. Thanks Boomers for putting all that CO2 out there!!!