Texas Unveils Cheerleading - Or Veils?

The Texas House of Representatives voted yesterday to ban "certain sexually suggestive performances at public school events." House Bill 1476, sponsored by Representative Al Edwards, passed 85 - 55 will proceed to consideration in the Texas State Senate. The bill is aimed at curtailing the increasingly overtly sexual dance routines of Texas high school cheerleaders, which directly cause the moral decline of society.

Texas to cheerleaders: Don't shake it anymore (Reuters)

"People are calling and telling me how disgusting it is to see sexually suggestive routines on the part of marching units or cheerleaders," said State Rep. Al Edwards, a Houston Democrat who sponsored the bill.

He complained of cheerleaders "shaking their behinds, breaking it down,"but the proposal does not define what constitutes suggestive cheering.

Hat Tip: YahooNews

To help tamp down those pesky teenage hormones even more, the House also unveiled yesterday its statutorily approved designs for new high school cheerleader uniforms. School districts may select either one:

For added purity, nothing beats a burkah seen here at Plano Regional High School's cheering squad tryouts, or

Check out those humble frocks. Go team!

Cheerleaders whose dancing is found to be in violation the decency standards will be placed in the stockades in the town square for harlotry and subject to mockery and jeering. Floggings will be administered to repeat violators.

There is no word yet as to whether the NFL will be adopting similar standards for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders and other professional squads. The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders are well known for their wholesome attire and demure, chaste performances and setting a good example for their Texas high school proteges.