The Idiom

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Monday, May 09, 2005

C'mon. Nobody Saw This Coming?

The Red Lake school shootings happened a few weeks ago, but Saturday night Kid Various watched Elephant, Gus Van Sandt's excruciatingly slow tone poem about a fictional Oregon high school on the morning of a similiar, Columbine like rampage.

Elephant has been described as "groundbreaking" by critics. Kid Various describes it as "self indulgent." Jesus, Gus can you move that camera any slower? Can we please have more 7 minute shots of rolling clouds? The movie plodded along so slowly, The Kid began to think he was back in high school! Goddamit, The Kid is not a film cretin. He enjoys a respite from the seizure inducing quick cut jobs that dominate modern film but you have to use innovative camera work to push forward a narrative. You remember narrative Gus? Christ! Where's The Kid's AK?

But the film made The Kid think about the Red Lake shootings and the, by now, all too familiar fact that somehow, these rampages seem to come to everyone as a complete surprise. I mean look at the perpetrator, Jeff Weise...

C'mon... how did they not see this coming?

The kid sculpted his hair to make him look like the devil fer cryin' out loud!

Either that or an Andorian. And Kid Various doesn't know which would be worse.

If Kid Various ever cuts loose and goes on a killing spree, you can be sure you will not be seeing a picture like the one above on the evening news. You'll see one more like this:

You bastards have defied Kid Various for the last time! Now feel my wrath!

Jeff described his favorite types of music
His favorite recording artists included Korn, Marilyn Manson, Rammstein, and John Lennon.
Uh-oh. Burn all those copies of "Imagine."
The web page with links to Weise's two Flash animations includes his photo and an e-mail address ( that the teen used when posting 34 comments on the web site, where Weise used the handles "nativenazi" and "todesengel," which translates to "angel of death" in German.
Interestingly enough, as an American Indian, Kid Various not sure that Jeffy would have would have fit well into the Fuhrer's master plan.

He posted flash animations of "suicide by cop" on websites. Nativenazi?

Kid Various is waiting for the school shooting where they interview the kids and they say "Martin? Oh yeah, we always knew he'd end up in the bell tower with a rifle..."

Disclaimer: Kid Various does not in any way approve of school shootings. They take all the focus off of his favorite form of homicide...postal worker shootings. The Kid has been to high school, so he understands the urge to pick up the gun. But what the hell is going on down at the post office???


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