“And they’re coming out the left turn into… another left turn!”

Sirius Satellite Radio announced its exclusive five-year contract with NASCAR to broadcast the stockcar races over satellite radio. Mr. Scriblerus can only think of one thing more pointless than watching NASCAR on TV, that is listening to NASCAR on the radio.

"And Dale, Jr. is coming out of a left turn and going in to… another left turn!"

Maybe the color commentary will add another dimension…

Mr. Scriblerus just doesn’t get NASCAR. A NASCAR race is an excessively prolonged left turn, a high-speed traffic jam, driving around and around in circles. None of which is particularly appealing from this spectator’s perspective. Yet NASCAR is huge. It’s mega-huge. It’s a billion dollar industry and the second largest spectator sport in the United States.

Mr. Scriblerus possesses key components of the general demographic profile of a NASCAR fan. He is male, votes Republican, watches FOX news, drinks beer but still no NASCAR appreciation. Perhaps NASCAR is a pure red state phenomenon and that Mr. Scriblerus’ blue state residency has culturally afflicted him with an effete anti-NASCAR affectation?

But to all the red state NASCAR fans out there, sign up for Sirius, pop a cold Budweiser, tune in to the Daytona 500 and keep voting the way you do so that we here in blue state America can get some freaking tax relief.