Maxi Zeus

A reader writes:

Your penetrating insights on American foreign policy, society and animal sexual habits are great and all, but how about some more Greek mythology references?
- Darth Edward, Plano, TX

Well Lord Edward, how about this!

Zeus Kronion! Son of Kronos! Usurper of Titans! Lord of the heavens and first over all the gods of Olympus!

In what fashion shall we honor this deity of legend? With animal sacrifice? Magnificent temples? Grand festivals with days of wine and chariot races? Or how about with a giant freakin' hamburger?

That's right, now you can honor the god of thunder by downing a 7 pound burger at one of New Jersey's great gifts to mankind, the local diner.

All told, 190 of Clinton Station Diner's new 1- to 7-pound hamburgers have sold since their Feb. 2 launch, said owner Michael Zambas.

"We're selling one (7-pound) Zeus burger every day," he said. But no one's gotten it for free by eating the whole thing within three hours. "A few people have tried, including one who came in with a strategy. He drank lots of water and announced that he'd be able to leave enough room for dessert." But, after an hour, he'd only eaten a quarter of it. "He left with a very large doggie bag,"
said Zambas.

Zambas, huh? One can see why he'd want to pay tribute to Zeus Panhellenios. So odd. A greek diner owner in New Jersey.

Next up Shiva, The Destroyer 5 gallon slurpees at 7-11.

[HOMER] Hey Ganesha, want a peanut?

[APU] Please do not offer my God a peanut.

Kid Various feels a challenge coming on. Sure we could drive to Clearfield, PA. But the Clinton Station Diner is right up on I-78! Editors of The Idiom, we must get there and praise the father of Athena and Herakles before
Kate Stelnick! Or that skinny Japanese guy.

As long as the lettuce and tomato are optional, The Kid will make short work of that burger. So make plans, my friends to celebrate the buggerer of Ganymede.

Oh yeah, and how about some more comic book references?
- Darth Edward, Plano, TX

See the title, Darth.