Panda Pandering

Zoos harboring endangered panda bears are readying for the upcoming spring mating season. Notoriously difficult to breed in captivity, the National Zoo will close the panda exhibit to give resident pandas Mie Xiang and Tian Tian them more privacy in the hopes of a successful mating. Apparently, allowing the general public in to yell "C'mon do it pandas do it!" has not helped the shy animals propagate their dwindling species.

Female pandas are in heat for only one or two days each year. No pressure there for Tian Tian, not only is the species endangered but if he blows it with Mie Xiang, he will have to take cold showers for the rest of the year.

Three attempts to get Mei Xiang pregnant have failed. Taking tips from panda experts, the National Zoo plans to "create expectation between the two," as [National Zoo spokesman John] Gibbons put it. They will be put together for short periods, then separated, a process to be repeated at different times.
via CNN

Mr. Scriblerus recommends the zookeepers work a little harder to enhance the romantic atmosphere of the panda exhibit. Perhaps they should install some mood lighting and play some Marvin Gaye music. Inviting the gay German penguins over to give Tian Tian a makeover and redecorate his den might not be a bad idea either. Maybe a Queer Penguin for the Straight Panda pilot is in the works, is anyone from Fox reading this?

"Hey Baby, let's do it for our species..."