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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

One Fat B*tch, Hold the Mayo!

Now the forces of political correctness have gone just too far. Recently, the fine publication Maxim named the Fat Darrell the country's best sandwich. The Fat Darrell was invented at Rutgers University in the R.U. Hungry food truck, one of the many food trucks open till the wee hours on the Rugters campus and known affectionatley as "grease trucks." The afterglow of this achievement in the field of sandwich making was too good to last. There is now a scandal involving the grease trucks.

Apparently, the sandwich wars are heating up at Rutgers. In the wake of the Fat Darrell triumph, the grease trucks have started selling new sandwichs with names like the "Fat Blunt," "Fat Dyke," and the "Fat B*tch." The Newark Star Ledger has reported that Rutgers University which leases space to the grease trucks has ordered the truck owners to cover up the names of the offensive sandwiches after some students complained.

Some people seem more upset then others.
Steven Goldstein, chairman of Garden State Equality, a statewide gay and lesbian
political organization, said he finds the sandwich names disgusting, grotesque and offensive. "What's going on here is not just giving harmless names to sandwiches. This is how hate crimes begin," Goldstein said. "This is serious stuff. I'm alarmed."

Uh huh. I think somebody has a little too much free time on his hands. Naming a sandwich "Fat Dyke" while probably very insulting to many lesbians is hardly the stuff hate crimes are made of.

I can understand why some students might get offended. The sandwich names are sophomoric. The student body at Rutgers is very liberal (weren't we all in college?) and they are right at that stage where they have been newly indoctrinated in political correctness and are the most righteous.

That being said fuck them and fuck Rutgers. You were offended? Too bad! YOU CAN'T LEGISLATE TASTE. Don't like a sandwich? Don't buy it.

Rutgers being a state institution, I would even think there's some claim that could be made that Rutgers violated the free speech rights of the grease truck owners. I doubt the ACLU will be mounting that case anytime soon though.

Speaking of taste, I wonder what a Fat B*tch tastes like anyway.

12 Comments:

At Thursday, February 17, 2005 at 10:52:00 AM EST, Anonymous rick said...

Well, I've tasted both a Fat Bitch (or two) and a Fat Dyke (thanks, Boone's Farm!) and they pretty much taste the same...

 
At Thursday, February 17, 2005 at 10:59:00 AM EST, Blogger Kid Various said...

I may be dating myself, but I remember when Sunrise introduced the "Fat Cat."

I know what you're thinking

"Dude, why is your DAD reading this blog?"

More interesting. Why does Surly feel the need to asterisk b*tch but not fuck? Is this in The Idiom manual of style?

In any case this is ALL about kids being self-righteous. Remember:

THE PEOPLE!
UNITED!
WILL ALWAYS BE CONCEITED!

 
At Thursday, February 17, 2005 at 1:31:00 PM EST, Blogger MrSurly said...

Point of clarification, the "Fat B*tch" is spelled as it is because that's the way it's spelled on the menu on the side of the grease truck. I have no idea how the "Fat Dyke" is actually spelled. The "Fat Dyke" is obviously the sandwich everyone is getting their panties in a bunch over, but I had to search around to find the name because the newpapers wouldn't print it. Censorship!

I have no objection obviously to using profanity in appropriate situations. As self appointed sole member of the style subcommittee however, I have no objection to a rule requiring the use of an asterisk when writing filthy, disgusting words. I have spoken.

 
At Thursday, February 17, 2005 at 1:35:00 PM EST, Blogger MrSurly said...

Rick, a comment may not be funnier than the blog post being commented upon.

Just kidding. That's pretty damn funny. Please come back and share your comments any time.

 
At Thursday, February 17, 2005 at 3:06:00 PM EST, Blogger Mr Web said...

I am happy to report, I have never eaten a fat b*tch nor a fat dyke. But I have sampled the "vegetarian quasi dyke". But most mortifying of all, I have eaten far too many fat cats.

I could add the words, "Pussy", "Estrus", and "Bestiality" to this comment, but that would be ... in poor taste.

 
At Thursday, February 17, 2005 at 3:08:00 PM EST, Blogger Mr Web said...

Hey! Perhaps adding the words "Pussy", "Estrus", and "Bestiality" to this page will raise its hit count...

 
At Friday, February 18, 2005 at 10:10:00 AM EST, Blogger Kid Various said...

Anna Kournikova Boobs!

 
At Friday, February 18, 2005 at 12:14:00 PM EST, Blogger Mr Web said...

Naked

 
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