Friday on Inside the Actors Studio

Tonight on Inside the Actors Studio...

Welcome to Inside the Actors Studio, I, your host, James Lipton, am honored to have with me the illustrious, incandescent editors of The Idiom, that final bastion of wit and irony in a witless, unironic world. Let us begin with the incomparable questionnaire invented my great friend the great Bernard Pivot of "Bouillon de Culture", Mr. Scriblerus, I beseech you:

What is your favorite word? Ochlocracy.
What is your least favorite word? Sticktoitiveness.
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Intelligence and wit.
What turns you off? Whining.
What is your favorite curse word? Bastard. Versatile and politically incorrect.
What sound or noise do you love? Rain.
What sound or noise do you hate? Alarm clocks.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? New York Times Bestselling Author or traveling the earth and having adventures.
What profession would you not like to do? Accounting.
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Wait a minute dude, you're like here way early. Mr. Scriblerus, I bask in the warm glow of your luminescence.

Kid Various, Kid. What is your favorite word? Defenestrate. How cool is it that we have a word for throwing someone out a window.
What is your least favorite word? Yogurt. It tastes like it sounds.
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? The idea of America.
What turns you off? Bureaucracy. The antithesis of America.
What is your favorite curse word? Shit. I probably use it too much. Somewhere along the way, it just became an all-purpose synonym for "stuff" but using it so much has robbed it of its mystical power.
What sound or noise do you love? RPG's in the morning.
What sound or noise do you hate? RPG's in my bedroom in the morning.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Stand up comedy.
What profession would you not like to do? Anything involving sales.
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Dude you are so lucky I'm no longer the "Wrathful God TM." Kid Various, your genius is, as always, effervescent, I wallow it it.

Mr. Surly, What is your favorite word? Boobs.
What is your least favorite word? No.
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Free time, free money and good friends.
What turns you off? Obtuse people.
What is your favorite curse word? Dick. As in that guy's a dick.
What sound or noise do you love? Dolby 5.1 Surround Sound.
What sound or noise do you hate? The sound of the garbage truck rounding the corner when you forgot to put a big pile of trash out.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Porn Mogul.
What profession would you not like to do? Anything that requires a name tag or uniform.
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? The buffet is to your right. Mr. Surly, your anger is a burning but cleansing flame, you consume me.