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Monday, January 24, 2005

What W Meant to Say

Uber-pundit P.J. O'Rourke sizes up the inaugural address and translates what W meant to say with the Alternative Inaugural Address. Excerpts as follows:

"MY FELLOW AMERICANS, I had intended to reach out to all of you and bring a divided nation together. But I changed my mind. America isn't divided by political ethos or ethnic origin. America isn't divided by region or religion. America is divided by jerks. Who wants to bring a bunch of jerks together with the rest of us? Let them stew in Berkeley, Boston, and Ann Arbor...

The media say that I won the election on the strength of moral values. If the other fellow had become President, would the media have said that he won the election on the strength of immoral values? For once the media would have been right..."

And on the 8th Commandment

"'Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor' Especially not in return for vast wealth, abundant prizes, and lavish praise from fellow jerks. I'm talking to you, Michael Moore."

Maybe the 11th Commandment should be "Don't be a jerk."


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