The Idiom

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Monday, September 04, 2006

Happy Labor Day!

Which is a really ironic name for the holiday considering no one does any friggin' work...

In the meantime, take a look at this Labor Day piece by the irrepressible Mark Steyn about how the working masses have apparently amassed too much for the stasist intellectuals.

It's funny, and it's got references to Fritz Lang's Metropolis, and Labor Leader Peter McGuire, who Kid Various once made the centerpiece of a Labor Day speech by the Comissioner of the New Jersey Department of Labor.

Which is a really ironic name for the place considering no there does any friggin' work...

Kennedy Fascination Lives On

Kid Various was flipping through Stars & Stripes today and ran across this headline:

Woman who rode in limo with Kennedy during his assassination dies at 87

Wow. You get to be First Lady of Texas, serve on the boards of several charities and hospitals, raise 3 children and 8 grandchildren and THAT is your obit.

Woman who rode in limo with Kennedy during his assassination dies at 87

How much does it suck to be her?

It just shows how much, as a society, we are all still fascinated with JFK. The dude has been dead over 40 years and we're all still clinging to all sorts of little snippets of historical trivia about him.

Which brings The Kid to a cool one shot story entitled "Idol Chatter" from the comic "100 Bullets." (The story is collected in a volume 4 of "100 Bullets" stories entitled "A Foregone Tomorrow")

100 Bullets is an outstanding comic. The Kid was skeptical initially, but bought the first collection because the premise sounded interesting. A guy shows up and gives you an attache case that contains a gun, 100 "untraceable" bullets and a file that contains indisputable evidence about how someone screwed up your life. The question is, what do you do?

The writer Brian Azzarello has a real gift for noir writing. His characters are authentic people from the streets of modern America, grifters and gangbangers, hookers and junkies. Marginalized people on the edge, just looking for the next scam or job that will keep them going till tomorrow.

Most stories push forward a larger story arc. But sometimes, they are simply one off stories. Such as in "Idol Chatter" where Agent Graves meets an old baseball player to whom he gave an attache case some 40 years ago, to avenge the murder of his movie star ex-wife by the most powerful man in the world.

Did the Yankee Clipper fire the Magic Bullet?

Inspriational! Check it out here...

Wheeze!

Wheeze! *cough*!

And the irony is, Kid Various never smoked...

People who eat large amounts of cured meats have about a 3% reduction in lung function compared to those who never consume these foods, a new study shows. Such a difference may have a noticeable effect in a person with a lung disease, such as bronchitis, the researchers say.

CRIKEY!

Holy crap! "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin is DEAD!

Giant croc? White shark? Spitting cobra?

NO! Stingray!

"He came on top of the stingray and the stingray's barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart," said Stainton, who was on board Irwin's boat at the time.

A stingray? Who ever gets killed by a stingray? How ignominious is that?

That's like Philippe Petit falling off a chair!

Steve Irwin
1962 - 2006

Sunday, September 03, 2006

We're On A Road To Nowhere

The Census Bureau has released a list of average commute times in the U.S. Longest commute time? New York? Los Angeles? D.C.?

For example, the nation's longest commute, at 39.6 minutes, is in the Vineland, New Jersey, metropolitan area, about 40 miles south of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

VINELAND???

Who the f**k is going to Vineland?

To those not in the know, Vineland is in the middle of nowhere. Really. In the middle of freakin' nowhere. It has a major limited access highway (Route 55) that runs from Philadelphia to Vineland, built back in the day when we could still build roads on the idea that there *might* be traffic that wants to go there someday. Kid Various has never seen a road so empty.

Who is fighting the traffic for 40 minutes a day to get to Vineland?

Wonders never cease.