Thankful

I have a wonderful life.

Some of that is attributable to my own decisions and work. More of it is attributable to the good decisions of my parents and their hard work. As it is also attributable to the decisions made by my grandparents and their hard work. And for these I am thankful.

But the one decision to which I most owe my incredible life, was the decision made by my great-grandparents to get on the boat.

Because without the opportunity afforded by this great nation, all of the hard work and life decisions made by our subsequent generations would have come to naught.

I am so grateful to have been born an American.

I am so thankful to be a citizen of this incredible country which affords it's people opportunities for a magnificent life that are unknown in other corners of the globe, indeed, have been unimagined for the scope of human history.

I give thanks for this amazing society, that has abandoned the comfort of barbaric tribalism for the opportunity made possible by individual freedom. I give thanks for this society, so improbable in its creation, so fragile, who's continued existence, let alone dominance, is far from assured.

On this day, and every day, I give thanks to America. And all who would protect her from the wolves prowling in the outer darkness.

STICK A FORK IN HIS A$$!

Can you hear that? It's the sound of Mel Gibson sighing with relief as Hollywood shifts its collective wrath on to someone who has f*cked up even harder than him.

Uh Oh...

Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Dr. Ray Stanz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath-of-God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr. Ray Stanz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.

Uh oh...

Ghostbusters quote via: IMDB.

Overheard

Kid Varius: Dude, so fucking awesome.

Mr. Scriblerus: Wow, obscure, geeky.

Kid Various: And a perfect blend of me... I plan to buy the entire set.

Mr. Scriblerus: Those would look so way cool on the walls of your happening bachelor pad.

Kid Various: Truly.

Mr. Scriblerus: Helllooooo ladies!.

Kid Various: Along with the Albertosaurus arm and Utahraptor leg, not to mention the Tyrannosaur skull and the glass case with the Skeletal Legion.

Mr. Scriblerus: You need special stick Kid to beat back all the babes.

Kid Various: Truly.

Mr. Scriblerus: I mean like a big one.

Kid Various: I know. It'd just be too cool.

Mr. Scriblerus: What's that I hear?

Kid Various: Women would walk by my house and get a tingly feeling in their nether regions.

Mr. Scriblerus: Oh it's Pfizer calling. They want to bottle your personality and sell it as birth control.

Set Phasers on "Hysterical"

Oh dude these are awesome.

The Sumer Soldiers and the Sunshine Patriots

General Washington had this read to his men at Valley Forge. Maybe we should have it read before "Dancing With the Stars."

THESE are the times that try men's souls.

The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.

Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.

What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value.

Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as freedom should not be highly rated.

Snakes On A Church

Snakes! On A Mother-F**cking Church!

A southeastern Kentucky woman was bitten by a snake during a church service and later died, a law enforcement officer said. Linda Long, 48, of London died Sunday at University of Kentucky Medical Center, said Brad Mitchell, a detective with the Laurel County Sheriff's Office.

...Snake handling is based on a passage in the Bible, in the Gospel of Mark, that says a sign of a true believer is the power to "take up serpents" without being harmed.

Actually, this is based on a common mistranslation, the actual quote is the "power 'to take up surfing' without being harmed." Because some of those waves can get pretty hairy.

Especially around Charlie's point. And believe us, Charlie's an aetheist.

I See....O.J.!

He didn't do it. But, you know, if he was going to do it, this is how he'd do it. Not that he's put any thought into it or anything.

Fox plans to broadcast an interview with O.J. Simpson in which the former football star discusses "how he would have committed" the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend, for which he was acquitted, the network said.

The two-part interview, titled "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," will air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29, the TV network said.

Let's end the suspense for you right now.

He'd have hid in the bushes in front of the door at Nicole's house with a big assed knife. When Nicole returned home he would have surprised her and slit her throat. He then would have repeatedly stabbed a surprised Ronald Goldman, who either happened upon the scene or was with Nicole at the time.

That's how we, at The Idiom, are pretty sure he would have done it.*


*People who think this case is cut and dried however should really read some books like Robert Kardashian's American Tragedy: The Untold Story of the Simpson Defense, which make clear that the LAPD really bungled the case to the point where an accquital was almost inevitable.