Turkmenbashi Bans Lip Synching. All Screams From Torture Now To Be "Live"

Saparmurat Niyazov, the President of Turkmenistan, humbly known as "Turkmenbashi" (The Father of All Turks), seeking to divert Turkmen youth from the cycle of tragedy that claimed the life of Rob Pilatus, this week banned lip synching in his country.

Niyazov has ordered a ban on lip synching performances across the tightly controlled Central Asian nation, citing "a negative effect on the development of singing and musical art," the president's office said Tuesday.

...Under Niyazov's order, lip synching is now prohibited at all cultural events, concerts, on television — and at private celebrations such as weddings.

Additionally, the Central Asian tyrant and noted music critic banned an upcoming appearance by Kelly Clarkson on "Turkmeni Idol."

Niyazov is a passionate devotee of the arts and a prolific author. In fact, his book Ruhnama, The Book of the Soul, is pretty much the only literature studied in Turkmen schools. It is also required reading for the driver's license exam.

His patronage has allowed thousands of Turkmen painters and sculptors to flourish, creating grandiose imagery of Turkmenbashi in all spaces public and private. The most famous being the solid gold statue of Niyazov atop the "neutrality arch" which rotates hourly to face the sun.

How fortunate for the Turkmen that they get to live under the thumb of a despot whom the West merely finds bufoonishly amusing, rather than an icky dangerous tyrant that the West will actually do something about, like those poor Iraqis!