You Know...For Kids!
So you're a kid. You got your Playstation, your computer, your cell phone, your sneakers with the blinking light in them and your giant f*cking pants! What is it that today's modern kid needs?
We know...BEER!
SAGA (Kyodo) Kidsbeer, a nonalcoholic brew aimed at children, is catching on with young drinkers and is posting monthly shipments of 75,000 bottles, according to maker Tomomasu Co.Actually, that slogan could resonate. Especially if they had a childhood like Kid Various'. God knows he needed a few stiff ones after having to deal with the maniacs (parents.)
...The Kidsbeer label captures a nostalgic mood as it was modeled after classic beer labels."Even kids cannot stand life unless they have a drink," reads the product's advertising slogan.
All we need now is to bring back candy cigarettes and we can start our youngsters early on the two things that will get them through their miserable futures as cogs in the corporate machine!
Mmmm! That smooth Victory flavor!
posted by Kid Various @ 2:20 PM
3 Comments:
They still sell candy cigarettes down the street from my house. Ahhhh, gotta love Jersey City.
Man, I want some! I haven't had any since I lived in JC as kid. Glad to see the important stuff like this hasn't changed.
Well, this is in Japan. They probably haven't yet been enlightened as to the terrible One True Evil of the tobacco and alcohol industries, and their plans to subvert the entire universe into using deadly things to pleasure themselves.
...Someday, someday...
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