Aspartame... TOTALLY SAFE!!!

Largest study on the potential health effects of aspartame (artificial sweetener) just out.

Completely and totally safe.

No link to cancer, brain tumors, autism, gout, no link to anything

Except cool, delicious refreshment.

Now, can all you "precautionary principle" idiots leave Kid Various alone with his 10 diet pepsi per day habit? Can you give just that much happiness in life???

"Natural" does not mean "good" you morons!

Oh Diet Pepsi! We bow before your cool, refreshing, no-calorie power!