ARRRR!

This so Kid Various' next career

Washington's frustration could well be echoed today in the face of escalating assaults by pirates from Somalia. Over 90 such attacks have occurred this year alone -- a three-fold increase since 2007 -- resulting in the capture of 14 ships and 250 of their crew members. Among their prizes, the pirates have seized a Ukrainian freighter crammed with Soviet-made battle tanks and, most recently, the tanker Sirius Star with $100 million worth of Saudi crude in its holds. These shipments are now being held off the Somali coast where the pirates are bargaining for their return.

Oren gives the right prescription. We have to crush these idiots. They don't even have any sense of style. No parrots, eye-patches, no NOTHING.

Piracy is a scourge, but we are down with being snatched by some guy with a hook for a hand who swings aboard our vessel on a rope. That's at least, you know, cool. He may be a criminal, but at least he's putting some effort into it. We refuse to be taken hostage by a bunch of raggedy-ass Somalis who look like they just escaped from a Sally Struthers commercial.